Facebook Doesn’t Annoy People, People Annoy People: Part 1

Have you ever run into an acquaintance and had that split second moment where you considered jumping into a rosebush so you didn’t have to talk to them? I bet you’re friends with them on Facebook.

Why does Facebook exist, really? It’s not really for professional networking, that’s LinkedIn. It’s not really to follow celebrities or companies, that’s Twitter. It’s not… eh… I won’t even bother mentioning MySpace because no one has logged in to that website for five years.

As far as I can tell Facebook is meant to help us keep in touch with friends, family and those acquaintances that we actually like. But that’s a dream world scenario.

In reality Facebook keeps us “connected” with a few key people and the other 250 (or 1,237 if you’re one of “those” people) are just filler.

Ask yourself this question: should you be “friends” with someone if seeing that it’s their birthday makes you think “ugh… do I really want to waste 20 seconds wishing them a happy birthday?” Or better yet, seeing it’s their birthday makes you go “it’s whose birthday?”

We all have them. The people who pop up on the screen and we’re annoyed before we even read what they’re going to say.

Oh, look! Another vegan recipe. When I decide to switch to that super expensive, not-allowed-to-eat-anything diet I’ll be all over that.

What’s that? Your kid used the potty for the first time? Let’s hope that doesn’t end up ranking in the top 10 achievements of their life. Judging by the fact that you just potty trained a five-year-old I’m thinking the chances aren’t looking too good…

There’s the irritating ex-neighbor who is obsessed with posting 80’s music videos. Ten YouTube videos in a row from a band whose drummer has been dead for 12 years. Each post with its own ever-so-ingenious caption such as “sweet song” or “Your gonna love this one. Its awesome” Catch the grammatical error there? Grammar jokes, people. Grammar jokes.

Then there is the elderly friend of your friend’s great-aunt that you met once at a wedding. They feel the need to share every “Repost this if you know someone who…” status that has ever been invented. This is the same women who will soon be ecstatic to learn she was chosen to inherit millions of dollars from an heiress – ha, that sounds like a British person saying hairless – Ugandan prince. All she has to do is send her social security number and bank account info. How could that ever be a bad idea?

What about that annoying friend with a blog who spends all her time pimping her latest entry and trying to get friends to “like” her page? They’re literally the worst.

Ugh! Or even worse… what about those idiots that are happy? Happy couples. Happy families. Happy cats. Vomit, puke, vomit. Go sell your crazy somewhere else, happy. We’re all full up here. Obviously I log onto Facebook to judge people, not be happy for them.

All joking aside, what’s this Snarky Self-Helper’s advice? Everyone on Facebook is annoying to someone. If you don’t like it, there’s this super simple solution called not logging on. Eh, who am I kidding? Being annoyed by people on Facebook is one of the greatest joys of Facebook. So let’s go stalk that weird co-worker… but first let me take a selfie.

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9 thoughts on “Facebook Doesn’t Annoy People, People Annoy People: Part 1

  1. Have you ever friended someone, and then hidden them in the same moment? I have and it’s pretty satisfying. I’ll hit “confirm” because I don’t wanna offend them, and then immediately click hide because I don’t want them in my daily life. I have developed certain rules for ‘hiding””–if your status has anything about coffee in it, you’re toast…if you post a recipe, or talk over much about your lunch, bye bye… if you put up one of those “repost this for an hour if you hate the thought of little kittens going homeless” posts, you shall not pass…there are many others, which explains why, out of my 500 plus “friends”, maybe 30 are un-hidden…

    • Mark, I’d like to think the fact that you found this post means I am unhidden. I take that as a very high compliment. 😉

      I don’t know if I’ve ever immediately hidden someone. Even when someone I find annoying personally friends me I like to see what their Facebook personality is like. Sometimes people with annoying personalities are fun to laugh at on Facebook. That’s what it’s there for, right?

  2. Sharyn Shannon says:

    Oh! My! Gawd! You mean I actually DID do something right during your childhood?!!!!? Wow! Kid, you have made my day. 😀

  3. I have absolutely no problem unfriending annoying people. I do it gladly. If they’re annoying to me and/or we have had zero communication within the last year, why do we need to be friends? Every couple of months, I go through my friends list and get rid of people that probably won’t even notice that I’ve unfriended them. It’s quite satisfying…you should try it.

    You’re a fantastic writer, do you know that? 🙂 Loved this post and your others as well!

    • Oh, don’t get me wrong, I will freely click that unfriend button when the mood strikes. 😉 If I ever get around to part two, you can read more about my unfriending criteria.

      Thanks for the compliment! I checked out your page and it’s great as well!

  4. Nice work. At first I was ready to lay waste to my FB friends list, wondering just why I was friends with numerous human beings that make me cringe. By the end, however, you had me rethinking that impulsive culling. I’m liking the postings. Looking forward to reading more.

  5. Cook says:

    Ever run into someone that you’ve unfriended or that’s unfriended you? Awkward moment!

    If I don’t like someone’s posts, I hide them from my newsfeed–I consider that facebook etiquette 101. You don’t unfriend someone just because you find their posts annoying or offensive or depressing or too happy. I’d rather keep the connection, even if we’re not good friends; if we run in some of the same circles, who knows when we’ll meet again?! There are different degrees of “friends”–if it’s someone I never talk to, won’t ever run into again, don’t really care about, then I unfriend. 🙂

    You are probably aware of the situation, but I had someone unfriend me recently because, according to them (not sure if this is the truth), I posted about how sick I was too often. So, it’s almost the opposite of your situation–my life was so miserable, it offended their happy life. LOL Actually, if I really posted every time I was sick or not feeling good, it *would* be almost every day (I have fibromyalgia), so I don’t; I tend to just vent when it gets really bad, more as an explanation to my good friends (the ones who care) as to why I’m not responsive to their phone calls/e-mails or why I missed certain events.

    When this most recent unfriending happened, it did make me wonder, why DO we post anything? What is the point of facebook?! Who are the status updates meant for? Ah, the mystery of facebook.

    Thanks for this blog entry!! Love reading your stuff.

  6. Some people never comment or respond to your comment on their status. I get irritated because of this. But I ignore it and move to next notification… 😀
    What might be the reason that they respond to 10 comments after me but don’t respond me???

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