Facebook Doesn’t Annoy People, People Annoy People: Part 2

Holy *&%#! Facebook changed! *jumps out window*

Now, I will admit, I think the new Facebook is a stupid, convoluted mess that thinks it knows me better than it really does (sounds like some people I know), but at least I gave it a week or so before passing judgment. I had to laugh a little – well, a lot – at the people who logged in the day of the change and immediately posted about how much they hate it. Amazingly enough, they’re the exact same people who had absolutely “had it” with Facebook after the last change. Now they’re back to happily updating us about their treacherous bake-sale activities and fascinating coffee addiction.

Some people are starting to form an abusive relationship with Facebook. Facebook hits them with a new update and they say they’re done with it for good, but the next week they’ve come crawling back. They’ve been with Facebook so long, they can’t throw all of that away! After all, it was really their own fault, they shouldn’t have made Facebook mad. If you knew Facebook, you’d understand.

Because I hate the new Facebook, I had to re-think my stance that Facebook doesn’t annoy people, people annoy people. But then I scrolled through my news feed for five seconds and decided I was right to begin with. The people complaining about the new Facebook, and those of us complaining about the people complaining about the new Facebook, were way more annoying than any of the actual changes Facebook had made.

No one asked and Facebook listened! One of the grand new features we’ve gotten is the addition of “Top Stories”. I’d like to see whatever algorithm or other computer mumbo-jumbo they use to determine those “Top Stories” because Facebook seems to think I care an awful lot about people that I’ve never once interacted with on Facebook. Maybe they think the only thing keeping me from commenting on these people’s statuses is that they weren’t constantly at the top of my news feed.

However, I’m starting to think this was a deliberate prank on the part of Facebook. “Let’s constantly highlight people she could care less about, and make her wonder why she’s even friends with these people to begin with,” Facebook says sitting in its dark lair, petting its white cat and rubbing its hands together ominously. Yes, Facebook has more than two hands. How else could it do all those “likes”?

In Facebook Doesn’t Annoy People, People Annoy People: Part 1 I took a stance saying that I generally prefer to just hide people instead of unfriending them. The more I think about that, the more I realize that’s due to my own issues with confrontation. I’d much rather passive-aggressively hide someone than unfriend them and have them find out. Makes my life easier. And let’s be serious, the most important thing here is what makes me happy.

Does that make me a hypocrite of sorts? Yes, yes it does. I whine and moan about certain people and how obnoxious they are, but I’m still their “friend.” Well… I’m still most of their friends.

So now  you know I don’t unfriend often, and you’re still reading this, so you’re probably wondering what it takes to make me actually hunt someone down and unfriend him. Well, here’s the dish…

I had a hard time thinking of occasions when I actually unfriended people. I still can’t think of that many instances, but I know I’ve done it a lot. It’s apparently so traumatic for me that I block it from my memory. Sorry, I mean I “unsubscribe” it from my memory.

One instance was with a genuinely miserable person who I honest to goodness can’t stand even in person. Why was I their “friend”? Because they asked me and I knew I’d have to see them once and a while and it would have been awkward to ignore them. However, this person really loved aggressively pushing their beliefs on others and berating anyone who disagreed. The surprising part? I actually shared a lot of the same beliefs, I just didn’t like the way this person presented them. They were just so angry and bitter all the time. I’ve got enough anger and bitterness of my own, I don’t need yours Mr. Bitter McGrumpyPants.

If there is one thing I’ve learned from Facebook it’s that I don’t really care if people have different beliefs than I do. I don’t even really care if they post about their beliefs a lot. The people who tick me off are the ones who shove their beliefs on others and can’t take feedback from anyone with a differing opinion. Granted, the line here is blurred and subjective, but I do think there is a difference between “sharing” and “shoving”. If you don’t believe me, try to apply this to an everyday situation in your own life. Offer to share your dessert with someone and then shove pie up their nose. Then note how they react to “sharing vs. shoving.”

Another time I can actually remember unfriending someone it was due to me posting too much. Yeah, you read that right. I like this person just fine and had no problem with their Facebook activity, but they apparently had a problem with mine. Every time I saw this person the first thing they said to me was “well, I know what’s going on with you because you’re ALWAYS on Facebook.” I didn’t unfriend them the first time this happened… it was about the 10th time I ran into this acquaintance and had them rub my Facebook addiction in my face. I’ll choose to ignore the fact that if someone knows I’m on Facebook a lot, they must be on Facebook just a smidge as well.

I also unfriend anyone who comes up in my feed whose name I don’t recognize. I’m not too proud to admit that this has happened to me more than once.

The birthday reminders are an extremely useful tool. Not so much for sending birthday wishes, but for weeding out your friends list. When a “friend” has a birthday and the mere act of seeing their name makes me go “ew,” “ugh,” “puke,” or “huh?” then it’s time to unfriend.

So what’s the point that this snarky self-helper is trying to make? Sometimes you pretend you’re doing something to spare someone else’s feelings when you’re really just making things easier for yourself. I unfriend people when I know I will either A: likely never have to see them again or B: dislike them enough that I’d prefer they avoid me in public.

Since I am openly a Facebook addict, I’m going to declare it now: Stay tuned for Facebook Doesn’t Annoy People, People Annoy People Part 3: Facebook: Making You Feel Bad About Your Life Since 2004.

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One thought on “Facebook Doesn’t Annoy People, People Annoy People: Part 2

  1. I am just catching up with the Force of Nature that is your sense of humor. My dog is dying to get out of the house, whimpering at my feet, but I wanted to read another entry. Whimper away, Mikey — I just found a new name for my next band:

    Treacherous Bakesale.

    Splendid.

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