I’m thinking of changing the name of my blog. What do you think of my new title? Amanda: The Sexy Cute Dirty Kitten Pirate Hooker.

I like it because it’s subtle. I mean, why try to write a witty, humorous blog when you can just talk
about orgasms and kittens? Orgasms and kittens! Maybe THAT’S my new blog name.

Out with the snarky, in with the sexy! hEEEEy gurls!!!!!!!!!!!! Iz gonna help u b gr8t n da bedrm! Wow! Typing in text speak really DOES save you precious milliseconds. I completely understand it now! TNCILIUTT (if you’re totally old and lame and don’t get the hip acronyms, that one stands for “totally not completely idiotic like I used to think”. Duh.)

*insert picture of a celebrity with “slut” written across their face*

I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before. My blog traffic is going to grow at an alarming rate now that I’ve found my niche.

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Read my blog and you’ll never be lonely again! I’ll teach you how to have the perfect relationship then send you a picture of a cross eyed kitten being held by a playboy bunny surrounded by Star Wars collectables.
I also know the Dancing with the Stars results for the rest of the season. Check back next week and you’ll win a free iPad 3. Yes, I have them before they’ve even been announced. That’s the power of now.

Did I mention that the new Facebook layout sucks? Boo to change! Hooray for boobs!

So what’s the point that this sexy cute dirty kitten pirate hooker is trying to make? Nothing, I’m too busy being super sexy.

So in conclusion: boobs, sexy, cute kittens, Facebook, don’t ask, don’t tell, your mom, Jeff Conaway, penguins, unicorns, cumquat.